Degenerate
by boyamiconfuzed
Summary: A ONESHOT about everyone's favorite Tallests. Written to answer the question, How can they hold their heads and all that armor up when they're so skinny?


Welcome everyone to my first adventure into the world of IZ fanfiction. As the previous sentence indicates ,I am not Jhonen Vasquez or a large multinational corporation, and therefore own nothing. (Except, the green couch stain,I do own that.) Also, as I am certainly not an IZ expert, please ignore any factual errors I may make. But do tell me about them, I don't want to be dumb forever.

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Red's hip hurt. He tried to shift his weight off it, but he couldn't. Whenever he moved at all his limbs felt like they were on fire. _Some all-powerful leader I am, _he thought. 

"Hurry up will you?" he hissed over his shoulder.

Red was lying sideways on a couch in the Tallests' private quarters. Purple was kneeling on the floor behind him, working on Red's PAK.

"Calm down," Purple replied. "It's almost done."

Red tried to be calm...he _really _did...First he stared at an unidentifiable green stain on the seat cushion in front of him. Then he thought about how stupid he was. Then he gave up on that calm-bullshit and tried again to take the weight off his aching hip.

"Shh... don't move, just relax." Purple murmured soothingly. Red lay still again, it was no use.

The anti-gravity generators that kept Red afloat had malfunctioned. They'd been on the bridge when he'd first noticed his movements becoming jerky. Purple had noticed too, and made up some excuse for them to leave. They had just made it into their quarters when the servos had given out completely. They had been lucky.

Purple had had to carry him to the couch. Purple had had to lay him out in this terribly uncomfortable position; he'd been unable to move his limbs at all. And now Purple was behind him trying to make things better...Red shut his eyes and tried to think about something besides being so helpless...

Someone was knocking at the door.

_Please, _Red pleaded silently, _don't come in, don't come in... I don't want to be seen like this..._

Purple paused from his work, turned toward the door and roared, "UNLESS THE SHIP'S EXPLODING OR ON FIRE YOU NEED TO **GO AWAY**!"

There was a muffled yelp and fast, retreating footsteps from the other side of the door.

Red chuckled, or tried to, the laugh turned into a fit of coughs. It was getting really hard to breathe, and the armor certainly wasn't helping either.

Purple turned back and stroked the side of Red's head, like a mother would a sick child's. "Just breathe Red," he said. "Slow, deep breathes okay? I promise I'm almost done."

"Hurts." Red gasped.

"I know."

Purple would know.

When they were younger, and shorter, they'd always assumed the anti-gravity fields around other Tallers was just a sign of rank, and in a way it was, Red thought, the 'Congratulations, the terrible price you pay for being better than everyone else will begin now' rank.

It had started for both of them at the same time. First Red had started having terrible muscle cramps and back pain that wouldn't go away no matter what he did. Then Purple had started having trouble breathing. He could remember Purple saying, _"It feels like someone's sitting on my chest, someone really fat." _And then Red's chest had started hurting too, and Purple's limbs had cramped. It got really scary towards the end, Purple's breathing got so weak he couldn't lie down; he would have suffocated if he had.

Then they had been brought in for 'maintenance' and everything had been explained.

Irkens aren't meant to be tall. The extremely tall Irkens that run everything were in fact the result of a rare genetic defect. Through careful genetic engineering and centuries of practice other defects had been eliminated from the Irken genome, but this defect, nothing more than an extra 'T' in the genetic code, was painstakingly preserved.

But at what cost? The elongated spines and limbs that made them socially superior also meant their muscles and bones were weak, their spines too fragile to hold their bodies upright, (even with the anti-gravity it was most comfortable to slouch forward) and their organs too compressed and stretched out for them to get enough air.

For a while a Taller Irken could function normally, but inevitably they reached a limit. If they crossed it they gained power and prestige, and lost their ability to function on their own. Most Irkens had no idea what the real reason high-ranking Irkens floated everywhere was- and the Tallest wanted to keep it that way. The idea that the entire empire was controlled by defectives wouldn't have gone over well.

When their PAKs had been updated with the engines they had also learned everything they could possibly need to know about repairing the engines, just in case. Except, of course, how they were to perform these lengthy repairs on their own PAK while barely being able to move. This oversight in their education had never bother Red, until now.

Most Taller simply had their servos replaced periodically. In fact, Purple had replaced his only a few days ago. He'd even asked Red if he needed new generators. Red had said no, he was too busy being dictator of the Universe to worry about something unimportant like that, he didn't have the time.

_But Purple did, _he thought,_ and I sure have time now... Good thing I'm not a complete idiot. _

"There," Purple said, snapping Red's PAK shut. The engines hummed to life. Red sat up and felt the pressure leave his chest and limps. He could breathe again!

"Better?" Purple asked, he sounded worried.

"Much better," Red smiled. " I suppose now you're going to say 'I told you so?'"

"I won't if you promise never to do that again." Purple said.

Red paused and rubbed his hip, "I think I can manage that."

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Ok, I know I talked a lot up top but I forgot some stuff. Please review this story. First, attention of any kind is good for my mental health, and second,I really do want to know how much I suck/don't suck, it gives me an idea of how much I still need to improve. 


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